aXs Gaming - Professional Gaming : Sitrep 10/11/25-11/05/15 - aXs Gaming - Professional Gaming

Hi aXs Family,
I know it has been a while, so lets try to pick this up again, it has been a very difficult time for me here. I have been under a lot of personal pressures, and work pressure.

First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone that has stuck with acXess Gaming through thick and thin, still supporting us and checking in on the website, staying active on JTV and Facebook. It really brightens my day when I have a chance to see posts or comments and know so many of you care and miss me. Please continue to support us.


Since my last blog, Wow, before my R&R. Well, I was in route heading home for R&R and was honestly not going to come back. I had lost my motivation and every day was awful. This was because there was a lack of motivation even procedure at Shindand and the management staff there did not lead or seem to care about the job we are over here to do. I had explained to all of you, I was getting use to how things work outside the military, and it seems that in the contracting world they hire people that are truly not qualified to do the job in support of the Military. This is not a blanket statement as there are a few really great contractors, but overall it is the truth. Its all about who you know, and sorry to say this, but who's ass you are kissing along with how well you do it compared to co-workers. To give you an example there was three of us up for a Foreman position, myself, and two others. Me being the most qualified due to leadership traits, work ethnic, and knowing the job. The guy who got selected for the position originally was hired as a Forklift operator out here in Afghanistan. Who was dishonorably discharged from the Airforce ! This guy had a knack for, I will be nice here, brown nosing the Supervisor non-stop, honestly sickened me.

So... when I left to go on R&R I truly was not coming back. I was excited as I was actually in route to meet KillSwitch, and Greyhound in England when of course the storm of the century hits parts of Europe including London the same days! The airports shut down, even with Greyhound taking hours to try to get to it. Meanwhile, Killswitche's flight was delayed or cancelled and I was re-routed to another country. Airports shut down due to weather. Something I had been looking forward to and I really didn't get the opportunity to hang out with them. (We will try again sometimes guys).
There I was stuck in Munich Germany praying to just get back home. Finally I arrived home. The best was seeing the kids, who didn't even know I was coming. It was so cute. Even now it warms my heart. When I arrived at the airport one of my old Marines picked me up and was shocked to see his clean shaven Gunny with a Goatee.



He gave me a ride home and dropped me off. I walked through the door real quite and my wife, Mariko wanted to surprise the kids so bad. She called them into the living room, when they saw me - shocked - my daughter cried and cried and I was like damn girl why you crying? She said I missed you so much Daddy, I told her if you keep crying like that I am not going to come home anymore. (of course not) While home it was the holiday season and we saw my family, I relaxed and streamed a few days for everyone It was really fun, but hard for me because I was getting shit on non-stop since I haven't played on line in so long. That sucked. But it felt great playing with my guys again, and running some matches and stuff. My R&R was coming to an end, I was due to go back to Shindand, I thought about it for a few days and determined that I am not a quitter and never will be. I will finish my contract and continue to support the troops. I would just suck up the issues and count the days till I could be back home.

Saying goodbye sucked, then the flights and delays to get to Kandahar. Arrived in Kandahar to be transported back to Shindand and the Kandahar Aviation Section which is right next door to the Logistics Section wanted to talk to me. The Aviation Manager saw my resume , no idea how he got ahold of it, but thank god he did. He said we are looking for people who are strong leaders, independent, and have the training that is needed to do this job. Being a retired Marine, he knew that I had specific training that most people do not have . Things like, Land Navigation, Combat Life Savers Course, Desert Warfare Training, Jungle Warfare Training.

So the head of the Aviation Section asked if I wanted to be a Helicopter Crew Chief. I wanted to know what the position was all about, consisted of as I was hesitant after going through what I had at Shindand. I had worked myself up to go back to that and power through it. The Supervisor, Larry explained it is basically transporting all DynCorp Personnel, and Cargo out to the Fobs (Forward Operating Bases) to support them in there movements to a from R&R etc. As well as supplying much needed food, snacks and equipment. These DynCorp personnel support the military in many ways at these Fobs which are dotted all over Afghanistan some in very remote places. Being a Marine the only down fall of the Job is that we do not carry weapons and the Aircrafts do not have Weapon systems on them. So .. I was like man that is rough to decide if I should do that or not. Go back to Shindand, where I like my immediate co workers and had some friends, but was so demotivated by everything else I saw going on, or start a new more challenging position.



After much though and with the desire to learn more and take on more. I thought, screw it, lets do this, it is what I am here to do work hard, and make a difference. Maybe I will have more interaction and ability to use my skills in this new position.

Of course, there is always bumps, so I ended up going back up to Shindand to relieve the guys that were there to go on R&R before I went to the new position. So from the beginning of January till Feb 1st I decided to work extra hard, and within two weeks I pushed out 160 463L Pallets of Cargo, and the Army was like Wow! Everyone was so shocked I was able to get this done, I received a written commendation and note in my file. It felt so good to accomplish something and be busy and leave Shindand on a high note and not just waste my time since it wasnt "my problem" anymore. I was calling AMD ( Air Mobility Division) requesting additional lift (space on aircraft), and maximizing all the Aircraft loads it was amazing. Such a rush and made me really happy. No load planer in Theater has been able to do the things that I was doing. That is a wonderful feeling to know you are getting supplies desperately needed out to the troops. It was rough for them two weeks because I was the only load planner on duty so I was coming in on my off hours, not even clocking in the over time, because it is not about the money for me. Its about making a difference. I beasted through it ZiLLA Style.






So I felt like I accomplished all this in that short amount of time. On Feb 1st at 0200 in the morning I was at the ATOC



getting ready to head to Kandahar to start my new position as a Passenger Support Specialist. I was all ready to go, when the Airforce guys I had worked with at the ATOC,called me outside. Everyone seemed to be in ceremonial mode in front of the United States Flag pole that was outside our office. They told me that they wanted to give me the American Flag that they were flying there. I told them that they didn't need to its just me doing my job. They had a small Ceremony, not sure if you have ever seen that its amazing, pulled the colors down, with care, professionally folded it, in the triangular pattern you may all be aware of in the long standing tradition of great respect and honor. It brought tears to my eyes that I could make a difference there with them. They told me that it was an honor to work with me, because I brought a positive attitude, motivation and hard work ethic . I showed no favoritism to anyone military or civilian.

Every single DynCorp Employee there that I saw sitting around not doing anything, playing on a computer or being lazy I told them lets go... we have shit to do. There are Marines and Soldiers out there dieing so the more Cargo we can push to them the better they will be.

That night I got on the C130, and rode it to Kandahar with tears in my eyes. Arriving in Kandahar, I was once again motivated and ready to take on the adventures and challenges of my new postilion. I was pumped. Immediately upon arrival I noticed a difference in the way Aviation handled things and had everything set up for me as far as sleeping quarters, transportation and getting signed in. They took care of one another and most being former Marines , knew what a team was all about. I was in Kandahar for two weeks of training on this new position that I was doing. They had put me in a Chu or Container - Much better than a tent, however, there was incoming rocket attacks all the time. My new Supervisor, Larry , wanted to send me out to Camp Dwyer to see if I liked it there. The Camp use to be FOB Dwyer but was taken over by the Marines, grew and became Camp Dwyer which is in Helmand Province. So I came out here enjoyed the base, let Larry know I wanted to stay and be part of the Dwyer operation.



This seems to be the safest base in Afghanistan, the reason for that is the Marines run it, and they are always outside the wire patrolling, and the Cobras and UAVs are always deployed.




The only time I am nervous is when we take off from the FOBs we have been shot at a few times. Thank God, these Afghanistan Taliban can not shoot for shit lol. Since being out here, in the past 2 months now I have become the Lead, there are two others that I teach and work with on a daily basis make sure that they are doing everything correctly and help keep them motivated. We are a team and we work really hard together.

Recently my flight crew was re-assigned and I was really tight with these guys. So that has added to having a bit of a hard time recently. But I am here to do this job for a reason, buckle down and focus.

Day to day life here in this position is different than my old position. We get up about 0400 each day, ensure everything is loaded correctly from the night before, that any cargo manifests or flight schedules have not been changed, and if so that we have the latest information. The weather is hot in the 100's 'f everyday and with the gear and flight suite, unending sand and sun can get to you. Taking a shower is a blessing, but the clean feeling doesn't last long. There are hydration stations everywhere and we must constantly be in-taking fluids to ward of dehydration. I have not really been gaming even. Not sure for the reason on this, but just exhausted from the heat and adrenaline rush and crashes that occur. So I try to relax when I can, and when work things are not pulling me in many directions. The food out here is great! I love going to the DFAC and seeing Marines and co-workers and eating some great meals. I'll admit chocolate ice cream with strawberries in a nightly favorite. Then I try to relax and end up falling asleep early for that 0400 wake up. The day starts all over again.

We loose comms or even our generator sometimes so no electricity or computers can be a bummer on those rare down moments.

This is basically what has been going on with me. I plan coming home for R&R in June, and taking the kids to Disney Land and Universal Studios. It is something we have had planned for awhile. Time will be short, however, I will be streaming on JTV aXs Octane the 18th and 19th if not the 18th then the 19th and 20th. The staff and mods will keep you updated on Facebook and twitter.

That reminds me, since I have limited time and access we have created and aXs Community page on FB. Please be sure to go and like this, as my staff and admins are really keeping it up to date and looks like they have started posting daily video highlights from the past and even some new stuff. We also strive to keep you up to date on the goings on in the gaming community. Like this link ! aXs Gaming Community FB Page

I wanted to thank everyone for their assistance and donations for the gamers outreach marathon for Japan aXs Gaming was responsible for over $500 dollars going to help those devastated in Japan, and I really appreciate that. SFX-360 wrote up a really nice post about us that was put on FB. We thank them as well for carrying the Marathon and for everyone that came out. aXs is also about helping others and we want to do more of that in the future.

Swagger Like Us: We took on Swagger Like Us or sLu, a Beast Halo Reach team, headed to MLG Columbus, wearing the aXs shirts. More details and a special section on them coming to the forums soon. Will also get some videos of them playing posted. If you get to Columbus be sure to introduce yourself as part of the family. Take some pictures or video and load it in the gallery. I would love to see them.

Stream: We continue to thank Simon from KOM for streaming on JTV aXs Octane for us, and are working with a few aXs staff to also stream soon. Right now issue seems to be connection holding us back. But be looking for that and be sure to come out and support them. The mods tell me we miss many of our old regulars and we hope to have you back and part of our family very soon. aXs continues to mean a great deal to me and will be better than ever when I get back home. So hang in there and support each other.

As everyone knows I am due to come back in August. I have to tell you I am not sure about this as my final orders have not come through. Many contractors are being extended due to demand and performance. I am not sure when I will know for sure, or if extended for how long. I would like to say that I have to do what is best for my Family, Me, The Country and acXess Gaming. - It may not seem like it, but being over here working hard is allowing me to put some money aside for acXess Gaming's future and to sponsor and support future teams. It will be a very hard decision but being able to support the military out here is the most pleasing thing to me. It makes my heart skip a beat when I see a young Marine, Soldier, Airman, or Seaman which I have helped. I miss all of you so much, gaming online, my family, god - my kids and wife and my staff and mods. But I will do what they ask of me. If I am extended, I am just hoping that I keep the support of the fans and my close friends. As I know more I will let you know.

Forums: You may have noticed some upgrades and additional features here at www.axsgaming.com. We are trying to keep up to date with changing trends and have a few ideas for some cool new options that we are working on. But we have to see the members involved to justify it. Blogs are now open to all members, so let everyone know what you are up to or just put a rant.

Your support and knowing I have aXs to come home to motivates me everyday. Please keep active and keep in touch. You are all great and knowing you support me, what I am doing and aXs means alot. I love when I have a chance to jump on the boards and read the posts or hop in chat and just be apart of it all again.

Video of me


Thank you and I will try to do better about updating this blog for you all. Most days I just crash into my bunk.

Thanks to my staff and mods for all their hard work keeping things going .

Be sure to check out some of my pictures from my new job at This gallery I will try to keep this updated as I can.

I posted a video of my quarters over here ZiLLA's place in Afghanistan

Thats all for now, the yawning and not being able to keep my eyes open tell me my bunk is calling.
Thank you!!

leave me a comment if you read this, what other things would you like to know or what did you think of my sitrep… reminds me of home while I am over here to hear your feedback

aXs ZiLLA